The dam phone was deadly silent as I stared at the signal and batterymeters - then finally out into the lake. I had a hole in my stomach.I went back inside and threw the steak into the freezer as I couldn'teat it in jeans this tight. It was really like "WTF" why hasn't hecalled? I fixed a salad then watched a movie and decided to file andpolish my toenails a deep red. All evening the phone was silent.Later I went to bed slipped into a nightgown but tossed and turned anddidn't sleep well.Waking Sunday morning I checked the phone ......... Still nothing.Wearing only yoga pants I made coffee and then biscuits and eggs. Ithought screw this skinny shit, breakfast was so good as I finished thepot of coffee, but what I really thought was if the jerk isn't going tocall I'm going to eat like a queen. The phone suddenly rang (as did myheart) - until I heard the recording of the stupid telemarketer. Myeyes watered.I changed into a yellow string bikini bottom, with a boring maleswimsuit. I kneel, slightly elevated and beg them. My family is not taking thispart very seriously. The jury makes smart remarks like "I expect morerending of garments" and "sie hasn't said once that sie doesn't wantto live anymore due to the shame." The jury holds its hands out andgives me a thumbs up, and a big smile of approval, it has to beunanimous, I could be convicted on just one vote. That formality outof the way. Mother leads me to the car, so the womyn can talk, nostupid sissies allowed. She puts a couple of blankets around me. I'mout like a light in a second.Mother wakes me up, and tells me to say goodbye to my departing family."How long have I been....?" It's noon dear."I get out of the car and many of my relations are near the car."I find Jezzie guilty of being simply precious," says one Aunt."I find Jezzie to be a clone of hir mother with a cute Maxwell buttonnose, honestly Joannah it's like looking into a time machine," saysAunt Tildie.Many of my cousins who don't know me.
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